It's a Boy, It's a Girl, NO it's ......

We get back to our hotel and I call the hospital and ask for the Pathology department. A woman answers and I ask about getting the IPG they removed from me earlier. She says this is the lab and I don't know what you are talking about. I thought about saying 'Chocolate or Yellow Lab', but I just ask if she can transfer me to Pathology. She says yes.

"Pathology, this in Ingrid." 

Hi, Ingrid. I'm Beverly Ribaudo, I just had surgery and I'd like to have the IPG they removed from me. I have my medical record number, if you need it.

"Okay?? You want what?"

It's a small chunk of metal, similar to a pacemaker. The surgeon, Dr. Norton said it's okay if I take it home with me.

"Okay, let me see if we have it. What's your date of birth? I found it. When are you leaving the hospital?"

It was outpatient surgery, I'm already back at the hotel. We go back to Yuma tomorrow.

"Let me see how quickly we can process it. It might be tomorrow morning before I can get one of our Pathology Doctors to sign off on it. May I have your phone number?"

Thank you Ingrid.

I am hungry. There's a McDonald's across the street from the hotel, so Wonderful Hubby walks over and gets us burgers and fries. After we eat, we decide to take a nap. I have no pain, but take a Tylenol tablet just in case. I am just dozing off when...

The phone rings, it's Ingrid. My 'specimen' is ready to be picked up. She says I'm to go to the Maternity, Labor & Delivery entrance and then call her. She says she's there until 5:30pm. I tell her I will be there in an hour or so (I really NEED that nap.)

After my nap, we drive back to the hospital and find the Maternity entrance. We are the only people who aren't carrying balloons, gifts or flowers. Once inside, I call Ingrid and she comes to meet us. We follow her down hallways and through an unmarked door and she goes and gets a form for me to sign and hands me a brown paper bag.

My IPG baby 

I asked how she managed to get it done so quickly. She said she just asked the Doctor if he could rush it and he said yes. Then she says she was almost born in Yuma. Her Dad was military and he was stationed in Yuma, but her Mom decided to drive to San Diego to have her baby.  

Ingrid asked me what I was going to do with it?

With as serious a face as I could manage, I said 
"Sell it on eBay, of course." Then I started giggling.

I took a peek inside my paper bag and she walked us back out to Maternity. I felt silly carrying a paper bag when everyone else was holding babies. 

YumaBev's specimen in sealed container

It's a boy, it's a girl, no it's.............an IPG! 

Yes, this is the actual IPG that has been inside me since October 25, 2012. That's a LONG gestation period. I think I will refer to "it" as a she. Why? Because a he would have quit working years ago!

Activa PC "Pretty Cute"

Oh my, these Parkinson's Humor blog stories are almost writing themselves.

We stopped at Subway and picked up some sandwiches on the way back to the hotel. 

I'm still in no pain. Tonight we watched Grumpier Old Men on TV and laughed some more.