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Thursday, May 2, 2013

A New Challenge for Bev

It's been awhile since I've written a new story and I apologize to all my readers. 

In February of last year (2012), I had an abnormal mammogram, which is not unusual for me. I can't remember ever having a "normal" mammogram. Just prior to my DBS surgery, I found a lump in my right breast and told no one, not even my Wonderful Husband. Why? I was afraid it would make me ineligible for the DBS IF it turned out to be cancer. As soon as I had my final DBS follow-up (March 2013), I went to my primary Doctor, told him about the lump and had another mammogram and, of course, it was abnormal, again. This time they ordered extra testing and I found out it was cancer on April 15th. 

Do I regret not doing anything about it sooner? Absolutely not. Why? Because to me, QUALITY of life is way more important than quantity and I don't think I could face what's ahead without the DBS and how much it improved my quality of life. However, keeping this secret almost destroyed my marriage. My Wonderful Husband's first wife never woke up after brain surgery and it turned out she had cancer. I didn't want to put him through that again, so instead, I tried to push him away. I said mean and hurtful things to him and actually told him to leave.

Fortunately, for me, he's just as stubborn as me (maybe more so) and he didn't leave. Keeping my secret took it's toll on me as well, the stress of not knowing is worse, I think, than the cancer itself. 

SO, here's the plan, for now. My lumpectomy is scheduled for May 7, 2013 in Tucson. Dr. Thomas Norton (my DBS surgeon) got me the best surgeon he knows, Dr. Roeder and we have requested Dr. Robin Kloth to be the anesthesiologist (she got me through the DBS, so I trust her). Once the lumpectomy is done and all the bits and pieces Dr. Roeder removes are examined, in detail, I will find out if it has spread to my lymph nodes. My guess is it will be a week before we know more. More stress of not knowing to deal with. After that, radiation of some kind or another and maybe chemo (let's hope it's just radiation). 

Because of my Parkinson's, the recovery time will be longer and because of my allergy to anything sticky, I decided against a mastectomy. Did I make the right choice? I don't know. That's the problem with breast cancer. You have to decide which surgery you want and then find out if it was the right one.

So, wish me luck, say a prayer or two for me and say three or four for my Wonderful Husband and hopefully I will be back being silly very quickly. Besides, my Wonderful Husband treated me to a new sequin gown,  so I have to get well enough to actually wear it somewhere.

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