A Terrible Birthday Present, Especially for a Parkie

When I woke up on the morning of my 56th birthday, something wasn't right. My throat was kind of scratchy. I hoped it was just allergies. After all, almost every desert plant was blooming like crazy and everybody was sneezing and sniffling. But as the day went on, it became more apparent that I had received a surprise birthday present that I neither wanted nor could be returned. 

Now I understood why I was achy for the previous few days. Now I knew why my usual 20 minute nap the day before turned into two hours and didn't make me any less sleepy at my normal bedtime. Now I knew why I hadn't been all that hungry at meal times.

Someone, somewhere had given me a Darn Cold for a present. I don't know who or where. Parkinson's and Darn Colds don't like each other and I don't like either one of them! There isn't anything humorous about getting a Darn Cold, especially on my birthday! 

Fortunately, we didn't have much planned for my birthday. Just lunch out with friends. By the time we got back home, my Darn Cold was in full swing so I decided to make it a party.

My nose was running, I was sneezing and I felt awful. I didn't have a fever, thank goodness, so at least it wasn't the flu. I'm glad I got my flu shot though.  

By pure coincidence, my neighbor Jeri had dropped off a birthday present while we were out. She made a quilted tissue holder from fabric scraps. This would definitely come in handy! 

So, I dug out my Darn Cold party supplies and settled in for the duration. These parties tend to last for at least a week, sometimes longer. First, I put on my snug-fitting old tee shirt that I use with the Vicks® VapoRub™ and climbed into my snazzy pajamas. You might as well look good if you're stuck going to a party that you'd rather not attend.

Then I emptied the M&M's from my new sippy cup (another birthday gift) and filled it with juice and added an immune system enhancer tablet. 

Then I got the rest of my Darn Cold party stuff out: Pseudoephedrine for the runny nose, Guaifenesin cough syrup for the chest congestion you know is arriving soon, Honey lemon flavored cough drops and of course, the Vicks®. I keep all these items together, just in case I need them. 

Be sure to check with YOUR doctor or pharmacist to see what you should pack for your Darn Cold party.

Also, you may need extra doses of your Parkinson's medications while you are partying. 
  

My Wonderful Husband took Lysol® wipes and tried to disinfect everything I may have touched. And I tried to avoid using my hands to turn on lights or open doors. Hopefully this will be a Darn Cold party for one and maybe those Darn Cold viruses will get bored and leave early. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the M&M's, because everyone knows you can't have a party without chocolate! 

A Quarter Million Laughs

My little Parkinson's Humor blog hit a big milestone recently. The number of people who have logged in and looked at my stories is now over 250,000. Most people find my blog stories by doing internet searches, not by following links I have posted on Facebook or Twitter. The United States, United Kingdom and Canada are still the top three places where my reader's hail from. This makes sense as they are all English speaking countries. In the last few months, France, Russia and Ukraine have been very active, so I want to welcome all of them to Club Parkie, the club no one wants to join.

250,002

It has been quite a while since I had a party for this blog. The last one was almost three years ago when I was at 10,000 so I was overdue. We booked the big room at Da Boyz, our favorite Italian restaurant, and then had to change the date/time several times to accommodate my guests weekly events such as Bingo night, Jeeping day, and the Camera Club meeting. We finally settled on Monday at 2 pm.

The guest list was an eclectic group consisting of Parkie friends, current and former neighbors, Camera Club buddies and one or two other friends. We picked up the cake I ordered and headed down to the restaurant to meet everyone for a lunch.

One of the first things to greet me was a florist carrying flowers from one of my Parkie friends who had a bad cold and couldn't be there.

Do you like my Happy Parkie shirt???

Then friends came pouring in, carrying balloons and roses and congratulatory cards. Introductions were made, hugs were exchanged and we settled down and ordered lunch.

My Wonderful Husband made a small speech, several others did, too. I thanked everyone for helping us through that rough period a year or so ago.

Then we did what we do best. We ate and laughed. After lunch, we ate cake and laughed some more.

Then came the big surprise that no one was expecting. We picked up the check for everyone there. It was the least we could do. These friends have been there since before that first blog story, cheering me on, lifting me up, nagging me to walk, making me laugh, giving me much needed hugs, treating me like their favorite sister/daughter/niece. We are truly thankful for each and everyone of them.

And I am truly thankful for each and everyone of YOU who takes time to read my stories. Have a Happy Parkie Day!  

Parkinson's Disease and Dancing

I love to dance! I have always loved to dance and having Parkinson's disease isn't going to stop me from dancing. Dancing uses a different part of your brain than walking, so it is very beneficial for people with Parkinson's to dance (and it's fun).  

Young YumaBev at dance competition

Back in the late 70's, my dance partner Dwayne and I used to enter (and often win) dance contests around central Florida. We were a good team and used to do some pretty spectacular lifts and tricky routines. I wore skimpy costumes and high heels and felt like a dancing queen.  

YumaBev cowgirl

In the early 80's, my competition days ended and Dwayne and I went our separate ways. I got married, became a widow, got married again, but I still liked to dance. Line dancing became popular in the 90's, no partner was needed and I soon mastered all the dances, including the ones with tricky footwork. Of course, what I really liked was the cowboy hat!  


Now it's 2012 and my feet aren't coordinated enough to do the fancy steps, but I still put on old disco tunes or a country song and shuffle around to the beat. I like it! It makes me feel like that dancing queen from 30+ years ago and maybe, just maybe, it will help me maintain my balance and my ability to walk for many more years to come. So, friends, put on some music and dance, dance, dance.


Use some humor, put on Shake (Sam Cooke), Shake Your Booty (KC & Sunshine Band), Shake Your Body (Michael Jackson), Country Girl Shake it for Me (Luke Bryan), The Shake (Neal McCoy), Shake It Up (The Cars) or Walk Like An Egyptian (The Bangles). 

Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!

Da Gold Medal

On Friday night, February 3rd, 2012, my Wonderful Husband and I got together with 10 of our neighbors and went to our favorite restaurant, Da Boyz, located in downtown Yuma, Arizona.  They have excellent Italian food and we go often, usually in a gang of 6 to 20.

Marilyn Deer

We made reservations ahead of time and got the Marilyn Monroe room. This room has pictures of Marilyn all over the walls and even a Marilyn deer (it's a buck, which makes it even funnier). They also have an Elvis room and a Pack Rats room, but I like the dolled up deer (it shows they've got a sense of humor).

Lasagna, yummy!

I love their lasagna, it's almost as good as my Wonderful Husband makes, and I don't have any clean up to do afterwards.   I also like their black & white print plates.

Some of our Gang enjoying dinner

Our waiter was a young man named John and I'm not sure he knew what to make of us, we are a pretty silly bunch.  I took him aside and told him not to pay attention to anything we said because we just got released from the sanitarium.  I think that he might actually have believed me.  


Our Gang will throw a party at the drop of a hat.  We have had a "Cut the tie off the new Palm Tree" party, a "Got a new dining room table" party, and even a "what the heck, it's the last Thursday of the month" party.  If we can't come up with a reason, we'll make something up or drop a hat.  My blog reached 10,000 hits a few days before so this was a 10,000 Laughs party (and a good excuse to eat cake)! My friends teased me and they said I looked pretty good for being "hit" so many times and that I was "one tough cookie" for laughing at my Parkinson's Disease.  

Sharon presenting the Gold Medal

My Wonderful Husband didn't tell anyone the reason for this party, it was going to be a surprise, but I got surprised instead.  My neighbors had decided that I deserved a gold medal and they presented me with one.  It was a grand ceremony and even though it was just the logo cut off a sack of flour and glued to a blue ribbon, it meant the world to me and I will treasure it always.

After the presentation, however, I became a big old softy.  I tried to tell them how much their friendship meant to me, but I got all choked up and couldn't get the words out, instead tears ran down my cheeks, but I was laughing inside.

Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!

Helpful Advice for My Friends and Family

Dear friends and family,

With the big holidays approaching, here is some advice from a person living with Parkinson's Disease to all my friends and family who don't know exactly what I go through each day.   Please invite me to join you for whatever you have planned.  Don't assume that I won't feel well enough to attend, but please try to understand why I MAY say no.

I have difficulty with fine motor skills, so please stop and think before you ask me to serve liquids or help put away those crystal wine glasses, there is nothing humorous about breaking glass or spilled gravy.  I have trouble cutting meat into bite size pieces and maneuvering peas from the plate to my mouth, so I do much better with finger foods and stuff that won't fall off the fork when my hands won't cooperate.  I feel uncomfortable eating around strangers, they tend to stare, and I know they can't help it, I find myself staring at people, too.  

I really should take my 'dopamine' medicine on an empty stomach.  Pretty much my entire daily routine is dictated by taking my medicines.  
Here is a sample day:  
4:30 am  woke up, took empty stomach, first thing of the day meds
6:00 am  ate a banana, need the potassium to prevent foot cramps
6:45 am   took dopamine medicine, stomach should be empty now 
7:30 am  ate some crackers, to settle my gurgling stomach
8:30 am  walked with neighbor
9:00 am  finally eating my breakfast, a big bowl of cereal
12:30 pm   ate lunch, which is usually my biggest meal of the day
2:00 pm   take dose of dopamine medicine, stomach empty again
3:00 pm   took a nap, have been up 11 hours already  
6:00 pm  ate dinner, which usually consists of a salad and sandwich
9:00 pm  ate a snack and another banana
11:00 pm take last dose of dopamine and go to sleep 

As you can see, eating a huge meal at 2 pm will just throw my day out of whack, but sometimes I do it anyway. 

I can go from "on" (which is when my meds are working their best and I feel my best) to "off" (which means they aren't) in 10 minutes or less.  This explains why I walked into the restaurant just fine, but moved slowly going out. 

Stress and excitement aggravate my symptoms.  Even good stuff, like weddings or other emotional parties can adversely affect me.  An argument or shouting will have me shaking from head to toe.  

This is why I usually spend the holidays with just my Wonderful Husband.  We have a simple meal and a very calm day.  It's not that I don't enjoy your company, it's just that I do better in more casual situations with smaller groups of people.

Happy Holidays,
YumaBev


Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!

A Funny Thing Happened on my Way Back from ........

We went to Laughlin Nevada to watch the National Karaoke Finals a few weeks ago and after the elimination rounds were over each evening, they did karaoke in the Casino lounge.  I know it sounds funny, but the contestants (I was NOT one of them) just couldn't wait to get into Party mode after spending hours being in Competition mode and they were fun to watch.  

I wanted to sing one of my humorous song parodies, but by 10 pm, I was worn out.  What happened to that Disco Queen that used to start partying at 10pm?  Oh, yeah, right, I forgot, duh, I have Parkinson's Disease.  I'm absolutely sure it has nothing to do with being 51 years old! 

The Emcee would play a "real" song every once in awhile and she played Thriller, by Michael Jackson.  I had gone to the Ladies Room and on my way back, I took a short cut across the dance floor, which was almost empty.  All of a sudden, people started clapping and cheering.  I looked around and they were cheering at me!

I didn't know it, but while I was in the Ladies Room, they had called an impromptu dance contest and the people thought I was dancing.  They were shouting "She's doing the Mummy" and "She looks like Lurch from the Addams Family".  

I wasn't dancing at all, I was just walking back to my chair, but being me, I got into the spirit of things and I tried to time my steps to the music (not easy).  Everyone was clapping and I was pronounced the winner!!!  

I stayed "in character" and stiffly climbed up on stage to take a bow and then "Lurched" my way back to my seat! 

  It's a good thing they didn't ask me to Moonwalk.......LOL!!

Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!

Humor also runs in the family

Not only did my Dad have Parkinson's Disease, too, but he could be just as wacky as I am.  This is a photo of my Dad, jumping out of a present at an office Christmas Party.  I was about 10 at the time and Mom and I thought it was hilarious.  He had a very dry sense of humor and loved to embarrass and

Click on pic to enlarge, hit X in corner to return

tease me.  He would introduce me as his wife....or say I was his son George, both of which would elicit a piercing "Daaaadddd" from me, which would just make him laugh.  

When I complained about being called "Beverly Hillbillies" by the kids in school, my Dad would say "I wanted to name you Chrysanthemum, but I couldn't spell it and your Mom didn't like Marigold Petunia, so I wouldn't complain about Beverly,"

Giving me away......

Dad and Bev in 2002

Years later, when I married my Wonderful Husband and became step-mom to 2 kids almost my age, my Dad quickly figured out that if he would marry Lynn, my step-daughter,  then I would become his mother-in-law and he could be his own grandfather! 


PS She said NO.......


Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!