YumaBev is the Thrift Store Queen

Lineman costume

Thrift store T-shirt, don't wear if flying

 I love to go shopping at thrift stores. My friends call me the Thrift Store Queen. I look for costumes for my various music skits, t-shirts with humorous sayings and items to decorate our gravel yard. I rarely spend over $1 per item and often purchase nothing.

Thrift store items to decorate gravel yard

One day I saw something I could not resist. A sequin gown! Now, I need a sequin gown about as much as I need Parkinson's disease. I have no place to wear one, but I have always wanted one. Always. And this one was blue, the exact color I always wanted. So, I took it into the dressing room just to try it on. I could fantasize for a little while, couldn't I? I mean, what could it hurt?

It seemed the right size, but it had no zipper or buttons. So, I tried to put it on. I got my head and both arms through and promptly got stuck. Totally stuck. Completely stuck! It wouldn't come off or go on. I was stuck and all by myself, having left my Wonderful Husband at home. He normally comes with me if I am clothes shopping, but I had no plans to look at clothes this trip. 

We Parkies often have trouble taking clothes off over our heads, since that requires using muscles that are generally not flexed and they tend to disobey commands from the brain. Just like sometimes a Parky will plop down in a chair but have no difficulty getting back up.

So, here I was, a 49-year old woman with granny type sneakers on my feet, stuck in a dressing room with a sequin gown half on. I didn't know what to do! All the nearby voices seemed to be teenagers and I wasn't going to embarrass myself in front of a teen. So, I kept wriggling and got stuck worse.

Finally, I heard a familiar voice, a close friend, who is also a thrift store diva. I called out her name, and she found me and helped me get the gown off. We had a good laugh and I treated her to dessert nearby. Then she said "I bet you are supposed to step into that gown, not put it on over your head", so we went back and I tried it again. And it fit, perfectly, though I still needed help. So, I blew my budget and spent the $6 to buy it!

I took it to the best alterations place in town and asked the owner if she could put a zipper in it. She took a close look at it and said "No way, this is a custom gown, one mistake and the whole gown will unravel". Then she asked how much I paid, and I said six. She said "$6000, that's a great price", so I quickly left, smiling from ear to ear! 

A few months later, I treated my Wonderful Husband to a cruise. My Wonderful Husband and the Captain shared the same first name and both had relatives in the same town in Italy, so I got my picture taken with the two best looking men on the ship, wearing my blue sequin gown!  

Wonderful Husband, me, Captain

                
My Wonderful Husband says the gown really cost $606 ($6 for gown + $600 for cruise, so I could wear it). 




Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parky Day!