Walkin' After Midnight

Well, my last story was about some safety changes we made to our house to try to keep the Parkinson's Haunted House from killing or injuring me. 

At the end of that story, I had acquired a teal colored walker that I hoped would work. The first couple of hours that we had Tealy Man (a takeoff on the band Steely Dan) were spent cleaning the years of desert dust off of him, and adjusting his front wheels and back legs. After all, every woman wants a man who is the perfect height for her. 

meet TEALY MAN

One of the first things every Physical Therapist is going to notice and complain about is that I have the wheels on the inside. There's a reason for that: if the wheels are on the outside... it's an inch too wide for the narrow hallway. So, don't bother me, go get yourself a sense of humor... And your own man. 

Once we got him adjusted, I took him for a spin up and down the hallway and around the house. While I was walking with him, Wonderful Hubby was listening to Classic Country on Spotify and Patsy Cline was singing Walkin' After Midnight so that's where I got this story title from. 

Pretty soon, it was bedtime. This is where Tealy Man would get his first real test. I parked him at the end of the bed, across from the end of the heavy dresser I use to steady myself. Now all I had to do is... REMEMBER he was there. Because, let's face it, me lying on the floor all tangled up in a walker in front of full-length mirrored closet doors ain't gonna be pretty. Funny? Yes! But definitely not the way I want the emergency guys to see me.

I've fallen and I can't get up

 

So, it's about 2:15 AM, and I need to go pee. I make it to the end of the bed, grab Tealy Man and head for the Master Bathroom. I'm feeling quite steady in his embrace. Yesssss! 

You know how some doors open inward and some open outward, well the Master Bathroom door opens outward. This would normally be perfect, except this door wants to swing itself almost closed.

And when you have both your hands on your new boyfriend, it's tricky to open the door wide enough to get inside. Uh-oh. So what do I do? I leave him outside and go in alone. 

It's at this point that I realize just how much LOWER to the floor this toilet is compared to the new one in the hallway bathroom. Tealy Man helps me get safely back to my side of the bed and I fall asleep.

Now it's 5:45 AM and it's just getting light out. I'm dreading the "See my reflection in the mirror" freeze as I have to go pee again. But, hallelujah! It doesn't happen. I don't know if it's because my brain was distracted by Tealy Man but I don't care. I can easily walk across the 10-foot open area, out into the narrow hallway and down to the Hallway bathroom. 

That door opens inward, and stays open right up against the bathtub. When I get to the doorway, I turn Tealy Man 90° and walk right in. There's plenty of room to close the door. When I am finished, I turn Tealy Man 180° and we step back out into the hallway. Another 90° turn and Tealy Man helps me get back to bed. 

Plenty of room to maneuver

What used to take almost 60 seconds now can be safely done in a few seconds. 

I think I'm in love. I just hope Wonderful Hubby doesn't get jealous. Especially if he finds out that Tealy Man can actually help me get up off the toilet, if it ever becomes necessary. 

Instant toilet handrail

In the meantime, Tealy Man and I are having a good time Walkin' all over the house and it's not just after midnight.

And there's a bonus, Wonderful Husband can sleep through the night.