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Thursday, December 8, 2011

A Parkie goes to the Doctor

I recently went to my Family Doctor.  This was a scheduled visit for a normal check up, nothing urgent, and since my Wonderful Husband's least favorite place to go is a Doctor's office, I went in alone.  

The first thing they did was give me some forms to fill out.  I reminded them that I have Parkinson's disease and that writing isn't easy.
  
Then the nurse called me in and asked me to climb backwards onto a scale so that she could measure and weigh me.  (Sure, I thought, no problem, want me to dance a jig, too?) 

Next, the nurse handed me a small sterile cup and asked me to give a urine sample and be sure to write my name on the cup.  (Sure, I thought, urinate in that tiny cup, maybe.  Write my name on it so it can be read, she's got to be joking!)  But, off I went.  
Clicking on any pic will enlarge it

Now, folks, urinating in a tiny cup isn't easy for any of us girls, but just try it when you are rigid and your hands are shaking.  I managed to get a small amount in the cup and didn't spill any on myself; however, the floor wasn't so lucky. 

Then I was escorted to the exam room and directed to get undressed and put on a designer "one size fits absolutely no one in the entire world" paper gown and climb up on the table and wait.

By the time the Doctor came in, I was laughing almost hysterically. Why?  Because we Parkies try to avoid embarrassing or harmful situations and as I sat there, I realized that I had just told a room full of people that I can't write, I could have peed all over myself and maybe broke my neck trying to get weighed.  

When I stopped laughing, I told my Doctor that visiting her was the most dangerous and humiliating thing I did all week!  It turns out she has a sense of humor, too.  She said "Well, at least we know how to dial 911".
  

Thank you for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just one of a hundred stories in my book, Parkinson's Humor - Funny Stories about My Life with Parkinson's Disease. Please consider purchasing a copy from Amazon.com or your favorite online book seller. Thank you and have a Happy Parkie Day!

14 comments:

  1. OMG, is there anything that happens to you that you CAN'T find a way to make it funny? I don't have Parkinson's, don't even know anyone with Parkinson's, and yet, I eagerly look forward to seeing every new story you write! Keep us laughing, please.

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  2. you made me laugh outloud! my hubby HATES going to the doctor, too! but since they are mostly his appts - he HAS to go! ha ha!!! glad your humor is still in tact! love the photo! reminds me of a Bette Midler/Lily Thomlin movie "Big Business" the expecting mom was sitting on the doctor's table and commented on the OBGYN lamp "is that new since last time?" that movie cracks me up! glad you survived the appt and live to laugh about it! :()

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  3. you are brave to have a pic of you in your beautiful white paper dress! I sure can relate to all the rest of your fun day there ;) S.

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  4. U have such a wonderful humor about it all! I like that! Life is 2 short for us to not be able to laugh....I laugh at myself a lot! God's Workers, via Twitter

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  5. I have been trying for a couple of months to get a Humor thread started on the NPF website open forum. Not much luck so far. I came across your blog on the NPF website just now. Looks like you've found a way out of the dark hole PD puts us in. I'm looing forard to reading more! Thanks for looking at the lighter side. I find Parkies a tough crowd to make laugh. Here's a little ditty I made up about my own problems with incontinence, but I didn't get any response at all!

    I am a member of the Depends generation.
    PD has got me where I am.
    People still treat me woth love and veneration.
    Mine are peach. Yours can be tan (or blue, or gray, or other fashion colors).

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  6. Bev, No worries. I can say with the utmost of authority that for a Parkified male, the cup operation is no less of a challenge. (dots and semicolons and things forming a hysterically laughing happy smily face) Jim

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  7. lmbo, yikes again

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  8. You are too funny!! I love all of your posts! They make me smile from ear to ear!! Penney G

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  9. This story is your funniest in my opinion!
    Philip

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  10. Bev, I bought your book on my Kindle, but it doesn't have all these colored pics to add to the hilarity. It makes me wish I'd known you better when we ,lived rear end to rear end in Avion Palms. My brother had Parkinsons and he, too, had a sense of humor. It certainly helps in dealing with life's adversities, doesn't it? I also like to write verse--another thing we have in common. It would be fun to collaborate.

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    1. I wish I would have known way back then, that the problems I was having with my upper back and my writing troubles were some early signs of PD.

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  11. When I went for urine analysis this week, I was so happy the nurse had preprinted labels The rest -- just like you said. Pat

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  12. My doctor stood right in front of me, tapped my knee with his little hammer, and wham.....I kicked him in his private parts, duh! Diane

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  13. I am considering renovating my bathroom at home to add a urinnal. My aim has deteriorated as my tremor has increased. Just keep laughing. Alex

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